Tap to Click and Other Computer Adventures

Before I say another word, I must send mad props out–

(that’s the lingo, right? mad props? a grip of props?)

–mad props out to Redfox, Ducky, and Identity4 from the Skeptics Guide to the Universe chat room for walking me through the various and sundry computer quirks that were keeping me from enjoying all my streaming video and avi files on my new LCD/HDMI/laptop hook up. I would also like to that the other people in the chat room, like Karyn and Louzer, for putting up with my dominating crap. I was treating the room like my own personal help desk and they were treating me with–get this–respect. So next time you, Gentle Reader, are hanging out at irc.rizon.net in the #sgu-fans channel, give them all a holler for me

But boy is “Extended Desktop” teh awesome! I was mucking around in “clone” for a while, which was cool, but with a codec here and a window there, I could be watching me some avi files on the big screen while opening up work files on the computer screen. If that’s not the fast track to productivity, I don’t know what is.

So tonight on the computer, instead of working (or even bothering to open work files), I am experimenting with tap to click. On the Dell Inspiron I hated tap to click. Hated it. It had this weird affinity for it, too; periodically you’d see the screen do this quick refresh out of the corner of your eye and then you’d brush the touch pad with the heel of your hand and end up at ChristianSingles.com or something. And don’t get me started on that stupid scroll function that I never learned how to do right, even with their little maze tutorial.

Have you seen that maze tutorial?

scroll-track-pad

I’m not sure I could make it through that maze with a pencil, much less with the scroll function on a Synaptics Track Pad device. Vertical scrolling was pretty bad, but losing control of a horizontal scroll in an Excel document or on some Google map? I’ve been trying to identify a snorkel spot in Hawaii and ending up in Asia too often. Plus, once you get one of those Google maps scrolling, you can’t really stop it without resorting to end task, which is a pain.

But BFF comes to my house sometimes to print, and she ends up typing on my laptop, and expresses surprise every time that I’m not using tap to click. She raves about tap to click. She tells me that her brother doesn’t like tap to click, either, as if the two of us are some kind of freaks, outdone only by the likes of those people who don’t like cilantro. (You freaks!) Come to find out, I’m at my mother’s house tonight where there are several fancy new Mac machines with these giant, beautiful track pads, and I’m learning that pressing buttons to click isn’t cool anymore. Everybody’s tapping to click these days. So the last thing I want to do is be left behind, and I am dutifully practicing my taps to click tonight. I figured I learned how to put one space after periods instead of two in a few days–how hard could this be?

(That’s what she said!)

I jacked up the sensitivity gauge to the maximum setting. Or the opposite of that–I’m not sure what the terminology is, but I am one setting below as far as it can go to the right, so I almost have to pound the thing to trigger the click. I still have to use the buttons to drag windows around, highlight text, and scroll, but that’s OK. It’s one thing to be annoyed because my thumb is too long to hit the button so I have to move my whole hand around to follow a link, but quite another to click, hold, and move–you are moving your hand around anyway. It isn’t really an imposition.  Yet. I do miss the scroll wheel that I had on the external mouse, but I was getting real sick of schlepping around the external keyboard and external mouse while the keyboard was on the fritz. I could attach the mouse directly to the computer, but it tracks with that red laser light and it doesn’t work on a lot of surfaces in my house–like my desk.

Ah, the adorably painted desk in the new office that we built a whole wall for that I don’t use… it’s a lovely piece of furniture. Of course, the adorably painted chair to match cracked down the center, and the polyurethane coat we put on top of the desk to protect the writing surface turned the white stripes to a pee sort of yellow… but it was fun while it lasted. I am still at the kitchen table. It’s all banged up. There’s a repainting, refinishing day in someone’s future around here. We get into a bind because Husband used to work for a painting company and doesn’t like the quality of my work, but he prefers to golf on the weekends. So I can do something poorly by his standards and expend effort, or I can wait and wait and wait until he gets around to it. It’s a tough call, and I don’t really have moral high ground to take, because I am as lazy as him. Lazier, in fact. Much, much lazier.

So, yeah… streaming Internet on my TV, tap to click acclimation, and my drunk is already started hours ahead of schedule. The TV is already wall mounted, so the only project we have left is to see if we can neatly install the wires for the TV inside these wall channels that I bought at Lowe’s. They are plastic. I’m not thrilled with them, but the metal ones that look so much neater only take one wire at a time. Plus these plastic ones purportedly are paintable. That would be nice to make them the same color as the wall, which is “Camel” by Behr.

On an unrelated subject, I am sort of annoyed that no one got my Lebowski jokes in this thread (well, teethering got them), but pleased to have actual confirmation that I am too cool for school. Too cool, my friends.

Vagina.

And now you guys are privy to all the new shit.

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