A few days ago, Husband came home from work and went straight to the computer. Why? He’d read something online that he disagreed with, posted a response online, and couldn’t wait to see what other people had said in response to him. It was his first trip to Happysmiley Town.
All Internet superhighways lead to Happysmiley Town. I’ve been living there for more than five years, although last summer I moved to a different neighborhood. I once wished aloud (by typing it in a thread) that me and all my Internet friends could live in real life in Happysmiley Town, but that I was worried that I would somehow end up alienating everyone (like that actress I think I pissed off at the grocery store with my crazy childhood vaccine talk–but that’s a subject for another blog). It seemed like the perfect place to live; we all get along so well, after all. We’d speak in Star Wars and Michael Scott and (now that I’ve seen it) Say Anything one-liners all the time, we’d listen to everyone’s long and detailed stories about their daily highs and lows, we’d swap recipes, and we’d like it. My friends in Happysmiley Town would be better friends than the friends that I know in real life! And I’d never have to shave my legs or wear pants if I didn’t feel like it–especially if it were Friday. Whenever I was bored or angry or excited , I could just tell people and the entire population of the town would drop what they were doing and entertain or soothe me, or join in. Everyone is eloquent and charming and above average because we know–and use–standard grammatical style and punctuation, unlike the riffraff that hang out in OMG4EVRTWN. No offense to the denizens of OMG4EVRTWN, of course. ((Denizen)) In Happysmiley Town, you are always at the top of your game. Who wouldn’t want to live there? It’s not even cold . Unless you want it to be. And even then it’s only cold when you need to snuggle up under warm blankets or play in the snow. The nice parts.
Sounds better than Cheers, doesn’t it? Except everyone only knows your code name. Except we’d still have to cook dinner, and sometimes you wouldn’t have time to hang around and chat and you’d be able to judge each other by hairstyle. And you’d still have to vacuum, and when you complained about it, you’d get a look that said, Dude, what’d you think? That there weren’t going to be carpets in Happysmiley Town? And that’s when I realized…
(cue Wizard of Ozish moment)
…that I’ve been living in Happysmiley Town all along. I didn’t realize it until Husband revealed how eager he was to get there. And I was already there waiting to welcome him. He didn’t know it was Happysmiley Town that he was looking for. I feel like he’s finally come home. But not to my home. We keep separate residences. I think it’s better that way.
Now, if only we had a second computer. And a town mascot. I guess Pedro will have to do.